Day one. (All things not important)
Today, like most days I woke up. This is not unusual in it's self, most of us do it every day. Now barring the fact that you may be a coma patient, or another sad collage girl wishing (as we speak ) that she had not excepted that last drink from Biff, and then preceded to spend the rest of her night wondering "why on earth did I start licking his balls, I hate balls and they taste like Axe" the point is you woke up. I get up, I go to work. I sit in traffic for very very long periods of time. I see these people driving along the road on the way to a job that they most likely hate as much as spinach.(and yes I know I know people like spinach), but not really. In any event there I am. My "job" if we are going to use the technical term, is fund raising. Now I know all of you are thinking "good lord man, what a great job"......NO. With out getting into details about the outfit I work for, I will say that providing services to the community in the form of FIRE SAFETY is my job.(please take a min to deduce who I work for) .....there ya go. Anyway people say "help" when they are in trouble. They pick up there phone when their, not so bright fourth grader decides "hey today would be an awesome day to see if mommies pink robe is flammable". Now, answer me this. Are we responsible for the communities we live in? Are we so numb to all the things that make for great news in the morning? I personally think that people are so busy thinking up new and exciting ways to post the fact that they have just recently purchased a diet coke, and little jimmy pooped in different colors today...WHO CARES. I have to believe that social media was created for a higher purpose.(like man) The world that we live in. No the world that we and those before us have created is generally a let down. And if we spend our days in some facetwitt zone of happiness we will fall for it all.STOP LISTENING.! Do not listen to that bubbly girl in accounting who swears that if her life was any more perfect she'd just die. Not true. She says these things to make YOU hate YOU. At the end of the day I promise she watches the same porn you do, and contrary to popular belief, yes she does.(you can insert that phrase anywhere). Yes she cries. Yes she poops. Yes she would go down on the mailman's uncle if he would just say he loved her..ohhhh nancy!! You get my point. So I say be miserable. Be grumpy and keep your money on Sunday. Tell your neighbor that his kid is a moron and if his dog shits on your lawn one more time...you will take his wife up on that roll in the hay she offers every Saturday when he is golfing with his ol'e collage chums. Go forth and dedicate your day to making at least one person hate you. I will........ later..
The Peddler.
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